TAWNGTAINA

Harsatna leh manganna hrang hrang ka tawh chang hian Lalpa, Nangmah neitu nih hlawkzia ka hre thar leh thin a, tuarna hrang hrang alo thlen pawhin, Nangin Nangmah avanga tuar tlakah min ngai tih tarlanna a nih avangin ka lawm e. Malsawmna ka dawn thin te ka chapopui loh nan, Lalpa ka thinlung nei la, Nangmah hretu ni ngawt lovin Nangma mi hriat ka lo nih zel theih nan min hruai ang che.

Nangma hnena hlanlet leh tur thiamna ka neih theih nan Nangin min tanpui la, ka phak tawka I rawng ka bawlna kawngah hlawk zawka kalo thawh ve theihnan, he ka dilna hi min tihhlawhtlinsak ang che.

AMEN

March Ni Sawm leh pahnih

Dt.12^th.March.2007 zing a ni a, tuk dang nen a danglamna awm a awmlo. Ni a chhuah ngaiin a chhuak a, khaw awmdan leh nunphung hrim hrim pawh a pangngai a ni. Mahse, he ni ah hian kan chhungkua in thutlukna lian tham tak kan siam phahna tur thil a thleng dawn tih reng kan hre lo.

            Nia, he ni hi nidang nen a danglamna a awm hran hauh lo, zing dar 9:00 hma kha chuan. A danglamna ber chu BCM Assembly kan kohhranah nghah ani a, chuta lokal palai ho te an haw ni a ni kha a ni mai. Zing dar 9:00 vel a ni a, gas sem motor lo kal thawm avangin a bur ruak pakhat kan neih ve chu lak tumin ka in pu chhuak a, kan kawmthlangah ka chang a. Chu ka gas la tura kalchhuak chu, kan hmangaih, kan duat em em leh kan chhungkaw member pakhat ang chiaha kan neih kan Zawhte chuan min zuichhuak ve a. Kawmthlang kawngpuiah chuan a tihdan ngaiin a han tal let lah tap tap a, kei pawhin gas phur motor alo la thlen loh deuh avangin kawngthlang lama kan Zawhte chhawnchhaih chuan ka zu pan thla a, kan tihdan ngaiin mihring biak tak hian ka be leh mawlh mawlh a. Ani pawh chuan a tih fo thin dan ang bawkin ka chhaihna chhang let chuan a lim kual leh ta zak zak mai a. Chutah kawngpui lamah chuan a tlanchho a, ani…… a pawi zo ta. Auto-rickshaw rawn tlan chu ka hmu a, ka au ding hman lo a, kan zawhte lah ka tiding hman hek lo. Tichuan kawngpui charah chuan kan duat em em chu a chil er ta ngawk mai. Auto-rickshaw number ka chhinchhiah hman lo, kan duat ve em em chu a na ang tih ka ring a. Beiseina chhete erawh ka nei. Muangchangin, na neilo ang maiin kan in lam chu a pan chho tlat. Mahse, thui a kal lo. A awp rep a, a vial ta ngalh ngalh mai a. Ka rilru a va han na tak em. Ka nau ka ko a, a ni’n a pawm chho a, ala tal arh arh reng mai bawk. Ka nau pawh chuan thui a pawm hman lo. Kan In pan chhohna step an chhuah hmain leiah an inmut leh rih a, tichuan kan duat, kan hmangaih, kan zawhte NUNNA chu alo tawp ta. Aw… a taksa ah pem awmlo mahse, a kawchhung lamah hliampui a tuar ani tih hriat taka a ka atanga thisen lo luang chhuak ngiai ngiai ka hmuhte khan ka rilru ava tina tak em.

            Nikum 2006 April thla vel bawrah kan la a, kan lak hlim a a tin ziau in kan thutphah a ham pawr pheng te hi ala awm reng dawn si a leh. Alo thanglian ve deuh deuh a, a ek bawm kan siamsak a hai ri rek rek thawm kan hriat thinte kha aw. Kan chawei chhung zawnga min dil ve ni chuang silo va kan chhungkaw chawei lai dawhkan chung atang ngei a minlo thlir ve deuh deuh thin te kha. Thutthleng a mu kan awm tawh phawt chuan zakhnuai lum thlahlel in a rawn chuh vat a. Thlasik meilum kan ai lahin a tu emaw ber ke kham chung lo chuan a ai duh thak lo. Kawngkhar a rik rek rek tawh chuan thiam leh thiam lova kawngkhar rawn hawn ve a tum kut rawn zen lut tawk tawk kha hmuh ka tum fo mai nia. A nilum ai na thin te, sangha dila tui ka dah tur min rawn zui ve chak chak thin te, tukverh atanga pawnlama a ei theih awm thil rannung te ilo chang a bawk van laite hi a tak hmuh tur awm tawh lo mahse, ka mitthla ah hian a cham reng thin.
            Tichuan, hemi Ni atang hian keini chhungkua chuan midang te'n a ho mai mai a an ngaih ani maithei e, mahse thutlukna lian tak kan siam phah ta a. Tunchinah chuan RAN engmah vulh tawh ngailo turin kan intiam ta ringawt mai ani. He Zawhte pakhat thihna hian keini chhungkaw tlemte a a nghawng hi ava'n lian tak em.... Khami ni-a min chil hlumsaktu(pa) khan a thiltih avang khan hetiang thutlukna hi chhungkaw pakhatin an siam phah ta tih hre tak ang mawle... Dem ngawt theih lah ani bik silo a(!)

Lunglen

Engnge maw a nih chiah le? Tlangval a pumpa, ngaih ber tur pawh hre si lova, ‘lungleng’ tih tawngkam kan hman kan hman tak mai le? Mahse, zep theih a ni lova, thup theih lah a ni si lo. ‘Ka lung a leng’ ka tih hian a eng ber nge leng lah chu ka sawi thei chuang bawk si lo. Min tham veng veng a, zai vaka reh thei lah a ni chuang si lo. Tlai Ni tla tur, kawlkil tawp a chhun sen phut thin te hi en liam har ka ti a, ka thlir ka thlir mai thin. ‘Intipachang’ tih tawngkam te hian ‘lunglen’ nat zia a puangchhuak chiang zual zel zawkin ka hria. Keizawng, ka thiam ve lo… lunglen thup tuma tankhawh hi.

            Kumin khuangchawi thla zet chu, engamah hmain leh inthawt lawkna pawh awm hauh lovin a vawt nghal em em ringawt mai. A mak ka ti, khawvawt te hi ‘lunglen’ kaithotu an ni  ta zel mai. Hetiangte chuan engtinnge maw kan khawsak tak zel ang le? Kumin a chaldelh tawh leh la tuai deuhte pawh, a leng mi hi zawng kan awm chiang a lawm. Khuangchawi thla thla engte hi in thlir ve ngai em? Thlaeng lawm nungcha tinrengte hram thawm te hi… keizawng, insum har ka ti thin. Awmlo an awm vang a ni lova, awm an awmloh vang pawh a ni lo. Chhungkhat lainate uaplum phak loh a chettlat vang a nilova, thenrual thate’n min hnemthiam loh vang lah ani hek lo. Siamtu khuarel, danzawh rual loh thilsiam hrang hrangte hian a kaitho thin ani zawk e. ka tan chuan hei hi pumpelh theih a ni lo. Ngaihtur neih leh neih loh lam ani lova, lungchhiatna ko chhuak chi pawh ani chuang lo.

            Sahmulphah thla a herliam ang a, Pawltlak thla a rawn her chhuak leh thung ang. Aw… chutih hunah zet chuan engtinnge maw kan awm tak zel ang le? ‘Rem Lal’ pian hun champha hmatiangah kan thlir ang a, Sikni engmawi leh zan boruak thiang daifim leng vel te’n min chiah leh dawn ania. Kawrlum leh chat, hmuirep leh sikri,… sawi tam lo zawk mai ang.

            Mahse ka vui lo. Lungleng thei a ka awm hi nuam ka ti. Changpat cheh chum ang mai a tal mai mai lo a, Siamtu kutchhuak, themthiam em em mai te’n a ka lunglen an kaitho thin hi ka tan chuan a nuam a, a tawrh a hahdam tlat. Lunglen zawng a na a lawm, ka zep lo. Mahse tawrh a nuam thung. He lunglen han tawrh a, awm mai ami pawh ‘a leng veng veng’ tih tawh chinah hi chuan tihtur dang hi a vang tawh thin. Amaherawhchu tihtur pakhat ka nei. Heti tak maia themthiam, ka lungti lengtu tur rawn duangchhuaktu Pathian hi faktlak a va han ni em. Hla siamtu paw’n;

“Aw Lal Pathian I kutchhuak thilsiam tinreng

Dawn changin mak tiin ka lo khat thin…”

A lo tih ve tho kha maw…

(He thu hi Dt.13th.Oct.2003 tlailam dar 6:30 leh 7:30 inkar vela ka ziah a ni. Boruak lum tak mai vawt varin a a rawn thlakthleng tan, lunglen tuar har ka tih em em lai a ka ziah a ni.)

LIFE: A VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE

When I think of songs like “I’m surrounded by trials, I need a knight in shining armor to save me”, I feel as though they are written especially for me. The people I thought would be with me in times of sorrow and fear have turned their back on me, and the people I thought were my friends are the ones who sneer at me from a distance. When I found out that the people I thought of leaving behind are the ones who really love me, my life is filled with remorse. To vindicate the wrongs/things I’ve done have now becomes the most desirable thing for me. Oh, what road should I now follow, which path would be the best for me? When will I ever reach the stage which we called ‘Maturity’ and what more do I have to go through to reach that stage?

I’ve often heard the saying that there’s nothing we can really rely upon. Apart from this, I thought that I’ve experience this many more times that I’ve heard people talk about it. But, as long as the thing what we call ‘Life’ stays within me; the burdens of this world are bound to surround me from all corners. Does ‘making new friends’ means that we’re adding the numbers on the list of enemies? In a place where everything is topsy-turvy, where what seems good and right turns out to completely wrong, and where everything turns up side down when we are going to make a decision, how would I lead my life and which road should I take? How can I make a right choice and how can I make out whom to trust and whom to rely upon?

Sometimes I tend to agree with the theories of egoists that “I should always put myself primary and everything else secondary; that I should do what is good for me and put myself first”. Even if you don’t expect the best from others, I don’t think you would expect the worst as well. On the other hand, when others from whom you have high expectations hurt your sentiments instead, how did you face that situation? To avoid being a coward, are you hiding your feelings, or you try to escape rather than finding a solution and left to suffer the consequences? I really don’t understand what I should do, and what move I should make! I don’t think stepping into the dark world where there are full of an endless pits would not be the most wonderful thing to happen nor the most desirable decision to make.

Lost in between the sea-shore and the sea, neither I’m cold nor warm, what kind of life is this? How can I find my way out of this confusion? How can I make myself to move ahead? They say, “Ships are built on the shore and sent to the sea for sail, and life goes on like this”. But I don’t seem to understand how much of me have been built and how many of it is left to be mended and completed. Do you say that peoples around you are your best mirrors? But which mirror should I look at to see my true self? Every mirror shows different reflections!

When will this thick cloud of darkness that envelops me fade away and when will the fair breeze come along to wipe away this darkness that has surrounded me?

Hringnun thlirna: A sir lehlam atangin

 “Harsatna te’n min hual a, tanpuitu ka ngai a ni’ tih hla hi ka tan a phuah nite hian ka hre thin. Ka mangan ni leh lungngaih laia min puitu tur ni a ka ngaih te’n hnung min chhawnsan a, ka hmaichhan a ka thian tha ni a ka ngaihte’n ka hmuhphakloh hmun atangin min nuihsan si thin. Kalsan ka tum te’n min lo hmangaih zawk a ni tih ka hriatchhuah changin ka nun hi inchhir nain a khat fo thin a, thuphachawi nun hi ka tan chuan nun thlakhlelhawm berah ka insiam thin. Aw, eng hi nge ka tana kawngzawh tur chu ni ang a, eng hi nge ka tan a tha tur chu nita ang le? Puitlinna ti a a hming kalo vuah ve fo nun hi engtikah nge ka thlen phak ang a, chumi nei tur chuan eng thil fakau nge kala hmachhawn tur chu ni ang?

           

            “He khawvel ah hian innghahna tlak tak tak a awmlo tih chu mi sawi ka hriat ai mah a tam ka tawng ve tawh nite hian ka inhre thin. Mahse hringmi chan ka chan chhung hi chuan he khawvel thil hian min la phuar rih bawk si a. ‘Thian siam thiam’ tih te hi ‘hmelma insiam belh’ tihna emni dawn le? Fel a kan ngaih lo fel vak loh a, fel tak tur nia kan ngaih lo chutih tehchiam lem lohna hmun, rilru siamfel dawn lai taka a letling zawng a thil inleh thutna hmunah hian enganga hun hman tur nge ni a, tu chungah hian nge rinna nghah ngam tur ni ang le?

             

            “A chang chuan ‘egoist’ ho thu vawrh chhuah zawm a, ‘eng thil pawh ti la, nangma tana tha ber tur leh a sang ber I chan theihna tur um zar zar ang che(midang chu pahnihna ah)’ tih te hi thil pawmawm tak ni a ngaihtheih chang a tam thin hian ka hria. Tu lak atang paw’n engemaw thil tha tak an tihsak che beisei lemlo mahla, thil chhe tak pawh I beisei ngai kherin ka ring lo. Chuti a nih mek lai chuan thil tha zawk ilo beisei ngam vena te’n I lawm zawng tur ni lem lo thil an lo thlen tir chang hian, chu khawvel chu engtinnge I hmachhawn bik thin le? Harsatna tawn tlang ngam lo khawp a dawihzep nih I hreh a vangin I sepui ruah tuar tlawk tlawk thin nge ni a, tihdam ai chuan pumpelh theory hmangin a helna I zawng mai thin? Awmdan thiam a har ka va han ti tak em! Nih nih ni tura in arkhaw thim dai pawp pawp lah hi khuarkhurum mawng neilo hmunah chuan thil thlanawm leh chakawm ni theiin a lang si lo.

           

            “Lum si lo vawt si lo, khawmual a ding si lo tui chung a lang law law bawk si lo nun hi, engtia han inhai kal chi nge ni ang le? ‘Lawng chu vaukamah an tuk a, tichuan a tihtur ti turin tui chungah a lang thin. Chutiang chuan hringnun pawh hi a kal’ te an tia. Tuk zawh ka nihna lai leh siamthat ka ngaihna laitak erawh hi chu hriatfiah har ka va han ti tak em? Bula mite hi darthlalang an ni e kan ti maw? Anih leh a khawi darthlalang berah hian nge in en tur? A darthlalang a zirin hmel a danglam zel bawk si! He chhum dum chhah tak ka chunga in zar pharh duai hi engtikah nge a kian ang a, a chhem kiang tur thli hi eng hunah nge alo thawt dawn le?